By FUNKE EGBEMODE
The woman advertised, the man bought. Willing buyer, willing seller principle is at play in Nigeria.
Look. If you push the bosom of a full breasted woman in the face of a man, his first thought most likely would be to grab the succulent opportunity with both hands, whether he proceeds to the next stage to devour and ravage to his heart’s content depends on a few other factors. But most men will rise to the occasion. Indeed, if they don’t, won’t the woman offering feel insulted? I even think it is not right to devalue a woman like that.
So why is the opposition harassing President Tinubu and All Progressive Congress (APC)? How is it Tinubu’s fault that Nigeria is drifting towards a one-party state? The opposition party in Nigeria, like a woman, saw a hot-blooded male, looking for a warm body and offered to warm his bed. With a full cleavage in the open, figure hugging dress barely veiling promises thereunder, the woman twerked and twisted. The man tapped her shoulder. She winked. He tickled her waist, counting the waist beads furtively. She smiled and rolled her tongue over her lips. He dragged her to sit beside him. She opted to sit on his lap. This is a man who had already had a few glasses of cognac. She continued to rub her leg against his legs under the table.
Of course, the man asked for his bill quick and took her to the ….. em….em…. slaughter slab, sorry, a nice suite to check her goods out. Please note that not once did we hear a whimper or protest. Note also that no man showed up to claim this woman as his. No one accused the ‘toaster” that the bread being harassed or pawed was his. Why then is the man, and not the woman, being accused of absuction and kidnapping because she is now being vigorously worked on behind closed doors? The man, having landed the prize has to give a good account of himself, doesn’t he?
Giving a good account of itself is all APC is guilty of. The opposition is succulent and willing to give its bosom softly and freely. Seriously, do we actually think APC will spit out the nipples PDP and LP were pushing into its mouth? Save for REAL men of God or the ones whose wives are sitting beside them or watching, how many men do you personally know who will turn down a curvy banging body?
Delta state alone has 3,221, 695 votes according to the INEC register. It most likely will increase by 2027 when more and younger Deltans will come into the voting fold. A woman’s banging body doesn’t come better than this. What Governor Oborevwori is bringing into APC’s inner chambers are firm breasts, voluptuous hips, very fertile womb. Why do you think PDP is reeling in pains and APC rolled out the drums on Monday? This beautiful bride is coming with promise. She is beautiful endowed. She will give APC plenty of children. She’s a major addition. Rivers state with 3,537, 190 votes in her bra is still straddling the fence but with the way PDP has focused on who occupies the office of National Secretary instead of closing ranks to shield Rivers state, APC will soon add her to the harem. One minute she’s wearing a mini skirt, the next, she’s flaunting her breasts and smooth thighs, what’s a man supposed to do, just smack his lips and take a cold shower? Not a sustainable or fair option.
Where was the man in the life of this woman that is now being ravished on the back seat of a limousine? Did he take care of the needs of the woman? Did he give her time and the energy of the other room? Where were the owners of the opposition parties when their critical members hit the streets to entice ‘the man’? Where was former Vice President Atiku Abubakar? Or is he no longer a major stakeholder and leader of PDP? My wicked friend said the woman escaped while her husband was in a meeting with his coalition partners. Ah, and he left the door ajar! Who does that? Women, like politicians, are attracted to success and power.
What a curvy body does to men’s loins is what power and influence do to a politician’s head. The more influence the Labour Party and PDP lost, the less attractive it becomes to its members who are already looking at 2027. Their own jobs and bottom lines depend on who can secure another four years for them. Anybody with the sense God gave a goose knows the endless squabbles in the opposition parties could only lead them to Golgotha, the place of skulls. And what didn’t they fight over?
PDP has not agreed on anything since 2022. They couldn’t agree on whether their Chairman, Senator Iyorchia Ayu was bigger than their threatened electoral victory or not. The party threw the spanners in the works of its own presidential primaries in the middle of the event because the leaders couldn’t put the party first. For good measure, they hung the party’s major financier out to dry. When they couldn’t find any other thing to fight over, they started quarreling over whose office was loyal to who until they started living on the premises of one court or the other. Nobody was big enough to call anybody to order. It was like the bug that bit Labour Party people assumed Covid-19 virus proportions in PDP. Nobody was listening to anybody. Nobody thought of the party. Soon, members of the opposition parties started living up to the ‘hook-up girl billing’.
The hedge around them, they broke with their own hands. They have all now wandered out, freely tickling. warm blooded APC. So, again I ask, how is this APC’s fault? Is it that we cannot see that politicians are incapable of loving anybody but themselves? Is it not obvious that the defection song and dance is all about a few men and the national cake they are stuffing their face with? They are not doing this for God or country.
Soon and very soon, APC will impregnate more stray brides, enlarge its harem and the rest will be history repeating itself all over again, if you get my drift.
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Mike Adenuga: A blessing whose blessings bless
If he blesses you, he does not want effusive gratitude.
“God has been kind”, he tells you.
He does not want anybody worshipping him. Maybe that’s why God gives him more, per second.
Yesterday, another April 29 travelled round the sun and berthed again in Nigeria. It’s another bright day to celebrate a rare bright spot in our national life. At a time both the old and young are fixated on politics and political office as the only lucrative source of income, April 29 for me and many is a day to celebrate a national gift this nation got 72 years ago. It is Otunba Mike Adeniyi Ishola Adenuga’s 72nd birthday. It is that time of the year we can discuss a topic that is not centered on our pain and despair, because here is a national treasure that we reference when we talk of small beginnings and the tough, steady and determined path to the exclusive club of the world’s riches.
This Forbes billionaire didn’t just happen. He was born with a regular spoon in his mouth, one he was determined to make gold out of. That his spoon is now diamond and ruby-studded today was not an overnight success story. Records attest to how the Chairman of Globacom put in the hours, invested focus and a great dose of courage to get here.
As Marie Forlio said “Success does not come from what you do occasionally, it comes from what you do consistently”. It is the consistency, the determination to turn a dream to reality that make it look like billionaires have more than one head. They do have many heads actually, if you ask me, the unseen heads that they refuse to bow before failure, because for them, failure is not fatal, just a setback. In a season full of rich men whose wealth touch a few beyond their family circles, Adenuga is a blessing whose blessings bless. His wealth has created more wealth. His businesses grow other businesses. His money is a tree millions of Nigerians eat from even as thousands sit under the shade the sturdy branches provide. He is not rich for just the sake of amassing wealth, he is successfully wealthy because as God blesses him he spreads it. What amazes me more about his amazing wealth is the quietness and calmness about him. No noise, no loudness. He doesn’t seem to like being fawned or fussed over. He does not even want to be thanked.
Happy birthday Chairman. May the Tree of Life continue to water this tree God planted in Nigeria.
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